How to Talk about your Acting Career

How do you talk about your acting career? How is it you describe yourself? Do you call yourself an actor, or perhaps an aspiring one? Are you early-career, emerging or established? These kinds of questions might sound basic, but they’re important to consider for anybody in our field. And that’s because most actors are terrible at answering them. Let’s break down how t talk about your acting career.

Knowing how to talk about your acting career will help establish you as a confident and committed performer, whether you’re speaking to loved ones at Christmas, or a potential collaborator in a theatre foyer. Speak with enthusiasm about your work, but also modesty; avoid self-deprecation and set a tone for the conversation that treats your life’s work with respect. Finally, acknowledge that not everybody you talk to about your acting career will ‘get’ it. That is perfectly okay—as long as you do.

This article will cover a few helpful hints on how to talk about your acting career, as well as the best way to navigate some of those troublesome questions you tend to cop from family and friends. Let’s get chatting!

Know Your Audience

It’s one of the most important acting questions you can ask in your work, and it applies to your life as well. Who are you speaking to? And who is your audience in this conversation?

Different people are going to have different ideas about your acting career. Family and friends may love you, for example, but not get the ins and outs of how and why you creep the boards. Fellow actors will be a lot easier to talk to, but there are often unspoken social norms to follow when engaging in shop talk. You don’t want to brag or complain about work—if you talk about acting at all!

Of course, you’re the best judge of how you talk to those in your life: treat each person equally and personally. But expecting your favourite auntie to understand Anne Bogart’s viewpoints, and then getting offended when she transitions the conversation to her aqua-aerobics class, is quite unfair. Most people are simply trying to make a connection.

Respect Your Career

With that out of the way, let’s set some important rules acting talk. First of all: respect your career. Odds are, you’ve sunk time and money into your efforts to become an actor. So when you talk about your acting career, treat it with the respect you so rightly deserve. Take yourself seriously, especially in those early/emerging/rough patch times, in which you might not be feeling so hot about the work you’ve been doing. It’s all admissible, and all adds up (see: Hold Space for Work and Results, below.)

Respecting your career also extends to the tone you take when you speak about it. Don’t be sarcastic, don’t be cynical. Be realistic, by all means, but bet on yourself. When you speak to people about your career, you set the tone of how other see your work as an actor far more than their own (sometimes limited) understanding.

There is nothing more boring than a person who seems to regard their own career choices with either indifference or disdain. You might find yourself doing so as a means of defence, but unlearn this as quickly as you can. Self-deprecation can feel comfortable; more often than not, however, it comes across as rude.

Hold Space for Effort and Progress

Your career talk should not be all about your achievements as an actor. Talk openly about your daily work as well: taking acting lessons, improving your craft, auditioning. All of these things are true of the actor’s life, and make up a far larger portion of our existence as artists. Most people who speak to you are interested in your journey as an actor over your résumé. Don’t leave out the good bits!

I remember witnessing a dream run by an actor friend of mine—who has actually contributed to this very site, but shall remain nameless. She was doing television, she was acting in plays and getting the best (and rightly deserved) reviews. She’d signed to an incredible agent and her work was the talk of the town.

I did not think I could respect her more … until I saw a candid post on her social media where she spoke about the need for a day job, the jostling of professional and personal lives, and the constant hustle for the Next Big Thing. It was a reminder to us all that success is relative, and seldom solves the problems we hope it might fix in ourselves.

So hold space for effort and progress in your career. You should be as proud of that as any acting gig.

Speak with Enthusiasm and Modesty

This point is more important when it comes to industry chat and networking. (Generally, your loved ones will enjoy a bit of a career brag on your behalf.) Speak with enthusiasm about your acting career, but always with modesty. This is the flip-side of the self-deprecation warning: don’t come across too cocky. Industry colleagues worth your time will applaud your successes; if it’s all they hear about you, they’ll start avoiding you in foyers.

If you want to try regulating the way you speak with others in the industry, the best thing you can do is ask more questions. Be curious and enthusiastic about the work of others, and they will return the favour when it comes time to speak about you. You’re also far more memorable as person who engages rather than one who preaches their success.

 “When can I call myself an actor?”

Whenever you’re ready. It’s your call to make, as there is no better judge than you. This question calls another equally important query to mind: “What is an actor?” If you struggle with the “when” question, start with the “what”.

Is an actor a performer who’s working professionally? Not unless you want to strip ~96% of all actors of their identities. Is an actor somebody who went to drama school? There are so many different pathways these days, it’s a ridiculous claim!

Don’t think about the reasons you don’t call yourself an actor. Think about the reasons you do. The hard work, the unexpected ups and downs. Those little moments where everything clicks and makes it worthwhile. Think of your colleagues, your teachers, those you look up to and how we’re all in this together.

We’d call you an actor in a heartbeat. So please respect our colleague and do yourself the same service.

Answering Questions from Loved Ones

This section contains a list of classic acting questions from well-meaning loved ones. If you call yourself an actor, you’ve heard at least some of these. If you’ve heard ’em all, buy yourself a treat. And if you hear ’em all at one family dinner: feel free to shout bingo! and dance around the table three times.

Some of these questions are clichés, some are innocent, some are quite confronting. We’ll offer up some advice that speaks to why they’ve been asked, as well as some advice on answering them.

Finally, for the sake of this article, we’re going to assume that the person you’re talking to is well-meaning. If they’re not … why do you care what they think? Answer politely and move the convo on to something else.

“What are you doing next?”

This question is often tied to something you’re currently a part of: a film shoot, or a theatre production. It can be a scary one to answer if the stretch ahead on your calendar is a tundra of nothing. However, you can also answer with non-acting things in your life. Those are just as valid to discuss.

As an answer, try: “Hobbies. Until the next audition, I’m re-potting my succulents and trying my hand at aqua-aerobics.”

“Do you have a day job?”

Odds are, you do—exactly like the rest of us! Don’t be upset by this question, as it’s often an inquiry as to how you live rather than how successful you are as a bill-paying actor. This question is actually a great opportunity to educate the person you’re speaking to as to the reality of being an arts industry worker in the modern era. So answer with pride, and speak to the fact that you do multiple things well.

As an answer, try: “I do! I’m lucky enough to do something that allows me to pursue creative opportunities and work when it arises.”

“What about your kids?”

If you have a family, you may be asked about juggling home commitments with your acting work. Sadly, this work is asked far more of female actor/parents than male. And if you sense a bit of sexism in the works, it might be time to do some educating again. But staying positive: you can surely talk about how exciting it is for a child to have acting parents who surely support and nurture their offspring creatively.

As an answer, try: “They love it! They get to see me in things, telling stories. Plus, it’s a nice thought that a single commercial could pay for a semester’s worth of college fees.”

“How’s the acting career coming along?”

If you take this as nothing more than a good-natured check-in, this can be an opportunity to speak about your daily work as an actor. Speak about the little things that go into your career and craft, such as auditioning, taking classes or work you do at home on your physicality or voice. This question can tempt self-deprecation or self-pity, so be careful. Nobody asks this question to hear how terrible your life choices have been to this point.

As an answer, try: “Tough as always, but I love it. There’s so much you can do to improve as an actor, and more than ever you can achieve at home before the next big job.”

“Have you been in anything I might have seen?”

Maybe they have, maybe they haven’t. Generally, people who ask this question haven’t seen much beyond the Netflix ‘trending’ lists. If that’s the case, you can choose to politely decline, or tell them about an interesting job you’ve recently completed. (Obviously, if you were in something they’ve seen you should start bragging immediately.)

As an answer, try: “Possibly! How familiar are you with the web series “When Pets Murder…”?”

“Did I see you in a commercial?”

Again, maybe they have, maybe they haven’t. Actors have a funny attitude at times towards commercials—it’s a bit like teaching, which can be seen as a lesser part of the career. Our advice is to own it loud and proud. The person asking is most likely going to get a real kick out of it if you were.

As an answer, try: “That was me, Hungry Dad #4. Did you know they make you spit out the burgers in between takes?”

“Why don’t you get a teaching degree to fall back on?”

Another well-meaning query by (usually) a relative who doesn’t know how questions like these can sting. The funny thing about this question is that actors often make terrific teachers. They’re smart, studied, hard workers and have excellent emotional and interpersonal skills. You may even be an acting/drama teacher already. If you are, you should be incredibly proud of it.

As an answer, try: “Not currently, as acting is my primary focus outside of the day job. However, I would be interested in teaching some acting classes or workshops down the line…”

“You should talk to [RELATIVE], they have some excellent stories for you!”

As a writer by trade, I’m going to speak to this question in the first person: it’s one I get more than anybody. Look, nobody who says this to you means you any ill will. This question is a sign that the person you’re speaking to is excited for your career and wants to help in any way they can.

Sure, it may cost you an hour hearing about your Uncle Thaddeus’ 40 year career as a lock-keeper. But as an artist, set yourself the task of finding the drama, the human element of the story. And who knows, perhaps Uncle Thaddeus is hiding a wild, tell-all tale you just have to bring to life…

As an answer, try: “I would love to hear some stories. You never know!”

“Do you know [FAMOUS ACTOR]?”

Always say yes. Tell them they play your sidekick in your next project together, and that they cheat at cards and snort milk through their nose.

If you actually know the famous actor, give the person asking the question a little insight. Perhaps word of your connections might spread around the room, and save you answering some of these questions at the next gathering.

As an answer, try: “Ryan plays down our friendship in the press, because he knows it makes Hugh jealous. That said: total gentleman, and his gin cocktails are suitably delicious.”

“Are you still acting?”

Okay: unless the family newsletter announced your retirement from the biz, this question is fairly rude. When asked, it’s a great time to remind yourself of all the things in this article: know your audience, respect yourself, speak with enthusiasm and modesty and hold space for your efforts and passion. 

As an answer, try: “Yes.” And drop the nearest available mic.

Conclusion

So there you have it: how to talk about your acting career. Remember, as you venture forth into whatever social foray has you speaking to your craft, that speaking about your art is a skill that requires study and practice. If it feels strange, or you feel like a phony, keep at it. You’ll get better at it, and you very much deserve to.

And if all else fails, don’t forget that the community here at StageMilk is here for you—readers, members and contributors alike! We get it, and we’re here to remind each other that in the darkest, most deflating days: none of us are on this journey alone.

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